oh my god

I want to make a list of all the things I long to tell you
I want to be a part of all the things I know are part of you

why are you so lovely
and so afraid
of losing everything

well I do not have the luxury
of being so demure
when this
uncertainty
is killing me
much sooner than the end
I know that’s coming

oh my god

without you
I am scar tissue
I want to be terrible with you
why can’t there be more to think than this?
every hour the same

how could I be half as smart as you?
how can it be I am so uncouth?
why can’t there be more to me than this bad news?
every day the same thumb ulcer!

why are you so lovely?
and so afraid of feeling everything?

are you sure you’re so afraid that I could love you too?
the way the other violets do?
still pining for someone like you?

aloof like puddles on the moon
a coterie of shining spoons
a little bright
and very rude
a little sass to damn all fools

oh my god